a cup of joy; & chocolate.

Monday, December 07, 2009
23:37

Monday yellows

So since I have been continually at work on the magazine, other publications, DYB design work etc. My weekends + social life for the past 3 weeks, have been completely razed to the ground; I really miss the outside world & many cravings have frightfully doubled-

I want to eat: Pizza from timbre, Clam chowder from The Soup Spoon, Xiao Long Paos from Crystal Jade, fish&chips from manhatten or fisherman's wharf,
I want to hangout with friends at: Starbucks (I want the project red compilation!), Cluny, Hort park, hairloom & caramel, P.S cafe @ palais!, dinner at Casa Verde! (yes yes it's by Les Amis, but fear not, it is not Au Jardin :p)
I want to shop: I think this is self-explanatory :D

&& lastly this irrepressible craving for something artful, highly addictive to nosh on, by idyllic sea views. I have no idea what this is gonna be but it's therapeutic to dream isn't it? (thank God freelancing means extra cash, awesome for the holidays)

Phantom of the Opera- 'Music of the Night' playing. Feels like the holidays already. 4 days to go, and alternative photog to finish. Heard from shadi today that cheeyong cut off our supply of photopaper, whyyyyyyy. I just spent 50bucks printing publication final assignment today. Design is way expensive, and wastes a lot of paper, and it's tough, nights become days; but we press on because we love what we do & at the end of the day it is so much more fulfilling than any other working discipline we know (to us). Because when you design, it's personal & intimate, you reveal yourself in what you do, it taps into your heart, soul, values & that's why we take pride in our work, and love it. Press on friends!

I lift my eyes up to the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

The maker of heaven and earth!

____________________________________

Sunday, December 06, 2009
23:23

T'was the night before meeting.

With no sleep for the last 48 hours, it's nothing short of a miracle, I could get through the day. Magazine meeting went hundreds of times better than I expected; hailed a princess in the process? Now I supposedly have a journalist, an artist & an army boy (who's back from his overseas exercise to see his barely recognizable history article haha) at my back & call whilst working on this, hilarious but thank you magazine comm. I just need some help with the scanning of the pictures. Glad that's over for the week, thank you God. Prayed with chari after that (so thankful for her) & went back to my urgent mess of school work. Glowy came to look for me to catch up, highly interesting conversations as usual haha (glow I want to know your wife & help plan your wedding!)

____________________________________

Friday, December 04, 2009
16:41

Wedding Videos

In an effort to make the day better...

Gerry & Jeanne's Gatecrashing from Meoworks Associates on Vimeo.

Gerry & Jeanne's Church Ceremony from Carrie on Vimeo.

Extremely cranky, be forewarned. Do not approach unless carrying b&js :)

Honestly, peeved. Grateful for the few keeping vigil with prayer.

____________________________________

Thursday, December 03, 2009
21:28

It's winter half way around the world, and for some strange reason (maybe the rain, since we don't get snow), I feel like making huge pots of warm creamy soups. Fab for a cold rainy day. I shall do that when I get married whee. My husband and children will always have a hearty bowl of soup when they come home in chilly december. I'm sure I'm not the only person who staves for that 2-3 hours between getting home & when dinner is ready, sucks especially on a cold day. Ok, christmas cookies in a jar too for husband who is always hungry (inferred statement: most guys eat like cows)

Alright, today I mixed paint in all shades of the rainbow and more. Just from the 3 primary colors + black + white, I feel very accomplished even though I still have paint on my nails (thank God they were still painted from the wedding, so the nail polish acted as protection from the real gonna-stain-your-nails-paint, genius). Churchies compare your christmas presents when you get them, then you'd visually understand my joy from the colors ;) Was a little tedious to make everything a different color + was so engrossed with work we didn't eat breakfast nor lunch, but I wouldn't trade the results for anything. Ok I cannot speak further, or risk divulging my well kept secret wheeeee. I simply cherish how my school work, doesn't feel like work because I love what I do + in my own time, I do a lot of stuff I actually do in school. So I do what I like to do in school, and so I only do what I like to do??? Understand? :D I just wish I had more time

For those of you who have been dying to see the wedding photos, i'm sorry sus is kinda in a 'I need to chiong school work + church magazine mode' so all the less urgent stuff has been defenestrated (this word means- "thrown out of the window") for this week & perhaps the next too :\ The pictures will only most likely be up next week.

If i could wish hard enough and disappear into thin air, I would.

Any cure for perpetually aching shoulders? and lack of sleep

And as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain-

"I'm with you"

____________________________________

Tuesday, December 01, 2009
23:42

Wedding Dinner

Led away by the jazz, rose petals (picture above), crispy pork skin & 'stout' (as enoch & sheena deemed my coke). Felt like I was swept away into a disney movie, swirling with the tables & chairs, love hanging thick in the air. Awesome media team man, all the animation, videography etc, reminded me vaguely of desmond's wedding animation. Caught up with many sjcp peeps. Astonished by how exceptionally comfortable I felt in the midst of an entire table of sjcp people, maybe because I knew all of them personally whist ljoy camping or mission trooping. Memories of the years growing up in stmarg's.

"She's got to be the prettiest professional photographer I've ever seen." Was totally in hearing range behind the wall. Grins. A sprinkle of smiles in mid-week

Still in such a lovey-dovey mood, I want to cook heart-shaped pasta from muji for lunch. On second thought, I like the animal-shaped ones better. So tired, consultation tomorrow crap.

This is not good for my soul. This work makes sundays a pain. It shouldn't be this way ever.

This is my Father's world.

O let me ne'er forget

that thought the wrong seems oft so strong,

God is the ruler yet.

This is my Father's world:

why should my heart my sad?

The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!

God reigns; let the earth be glad!

____________________________________

Someone asked me in the wee hours of the morning-

"What happens when you are drawn to someone, with the strength of the unavoidable?"

"Honestly, I am not sure. Keeping the unavoidable unspoken of, only makes everything spoken of with your gaze"

"I must be writing essays with my eyes"

____________________________________

Monday, November 30, 2009
22:37

After sending out that mass message this afternoon, i realized i cannot tell you guys what i've been up to today in school. It was so fun! I do so love doing things like that, & surprises;)

Work-wise- Well, knowing that i had about five million things on my to-do-list, I tried to pep-talk myself out of bed early. "OK, Sus, just lift off the covers. One, two, three. Go team!" But while my brain said yes, my body said "No way". Ended up with just enough time to be technically punctual. In actual fact, I was early? Designers are always lavishly late- we were about a quarter strong, half an hour into class? Monday bluesss.

James loved the way my pictures were laid out for publication design consultation, SCORE! Sigh of relief, considering my absent-mindedness & fatigue.

So anyway, I was on my way home. Made my way to the upper deck of the bus, sat down, looked out from the window & began reflecting on the day etc as usual. This seemingly obnoxious guy sat in the seat in front of me, turned and stared for much to long. I reverted my gaze and to my utter surprise realized that it was Dion! Like i hardly see him in school even though we're from the same school? Throughly amusing time catching up with that joker. Easily made my day

Wedding dinner tomorrow. A little magic for an otherwise dreary week

____________________________________

Sunday, November 29, 2009
23:50

Centenary intergenerational service

What a mouthful. Early breakfast with my cell + YA cell before heading down. First person i saw when we reached the lobby of the convention hall was hilariously ariz. Affinity, considering the crowd of 10, 000 people lol. Shortly after that someone screamed "SUS!!!" I turned and saw the biggest surprise of a friend- Siyu! She just came back from australia (hello clement tng, we must must must have a GG outing before she goes back ok :D) Subsequently met lots of GG/servers, sjcp peeps, dot&simon sat a few rows behind us. When dot came over afterward, made him come too and warned him like all new boyfriends that she was very very important to us, so he better take care of her, haha well at least he's cleared one out of the six of us first. Going through it all six of us at one go, can be well, overwhelming.

Service was one of a kind. Pretty high anglican, but with a good dose of laughter at times. Food for thought- generation continuity. I'm sure a lot of people were subconsciously influenced to have char kway teow for lunch HAHA. Had a good talk with liwei about photog work on the way down to lunch, same sentiments brother, understand your annoyance lol. Met dion, rebecca & shaun where we had lunch. Seriously such a small world. Dion- "Eh sus, you got go for campus crusade not?" both of us burst out into peals of laughter. Miss the servers man.

Clement: Hey Susie i got to sleep already:) CYA SOON! OH AND HAVE A REALLY REALLY EXTREMELY BLESSED WEEK IN SCHOOL! And at home or anywhere else! :D:D:D:D:D

I really am craving clam chowder from the soup spoon. Reality sets in as all that magical wedding vibes in the weekend fades. So much work so little time, there's a limit to how long I can last at this rate. Split attention. You know what will really make my day this week? A meal with a good old friend at soup spoon before the crowds stream in. Effectively at around 4pm-5pm, cityhall.

Dear God the only thing I ask of you ________________________________.

The best gift I could have this christmas is having you two back. It's not supposed to be this way. Look, I had two good friends, who grew to be close to me as brothers are. We laughed about many things, ate out together, worshipped and served together. When examinations got the better of me, when work was tough, you both always did your utmost to make me smile. Now, I can hardly remember when we last were able to really talk, sit down & have supper together. I want to hear for myself how you guys are doing in army, how life is. Growing up has its complications, and there is so much hanging thick in the air but just for once, I wish we could sit down and be real with each other like we used to be. I don't even feel like I know you two anymore. We got to quit being childish and settle this please?

____________________________________

Saturday, November 28, 2009
20:18

"The day yahui gets married, sus will wear a dress." An ultimatum from 6 years ago.

She was our teacher, mentor and friend. She handpicked us and taught us to strife for excellence, love, care. There's so much to say, but just for today- Congrats gerry&yahui!!

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009
21:42

Guess I must've been so brave and so strong,

but even the strong need someone to cry their songs to,

Someone who fills the disappointment with fading visions of grandeur,

knows that the strong are often children, and unsure who half do it good.

Yet, like rain to a garden when the ground becomes hardened,

I know you're using it all to help me to grow.

Jesus, although I may stand these storms like I'm made out of stone,

you hear the songs that I cry when I'm weary and all alone,

You see the tears that came faster that I thought they would,

this old pain that seems to never ever leave me alone,

I have to be beacon, strong and shining your light,
I know that beacons can't ever be weary or frightened of the night,
So I seek you, even through these songs, and I wait for you to hear me,
And I know that you are going to answer, despite my trembling and my fear,
I just need to...need to feel you near me.

Then, like rain to a garden when the ground becomes hardened,

I do believe you're using it all to help me,
Some kind of a way, you're using it all to help me,
So come on and use it all to help me...

Help me grow

- For My Growing; Mylon LeFevre

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
23:35

Pre-wedding rush

The entire world was following me today. At least it felt that way. Met annette in cityhall when i went down to ruby for film- "OMG SUS!! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES". Then when i was on the way to meet the girls for lunch- "SUSANNA YAP!!" turned around to see joy chin, haven't seen her since o's. Later on at fareast- whilst we were near the escalator, "OMG SUSANNA!!!!" we all turned to see natasha, naomi & sweeney! Happening aye? It's not the end yet- when we went down to vivo, we walked past starbucks- "SUS!!!" scanned the coffeehouse to see deqi and clarice. Tell me the world has been stalking me today :( HAHA, was so nostalgic meeting some of these old friends.

Had lunch at ION, soup spoon with ashley, dot, luke & kenneth. I feel like having clam chowder again, so hearty and comforting. Siyi, jamie & sam came down soon after & we began our hunt for stuff for yahui's wedding. Exhausting. Then luke picked ashley up, siyi went to meet gus, cy came down for jamie. Siyi's leaving for US or sydney, coming feb/july, for uni. I am very upset, 4 years is such a long time. Too many things whirling through my mind this week. Oh God... :(

There is only so much i know, so much i can perceive. Help me trust & obey You.

____________________________________

Monday, November 23, 2009
23:59

In the last five days especially, i've been asked the same question, too many times, in different forms. Why why why? -

Simply because i will not settle.

That aside, i've got bittersweet news. I am finally parting with oomba. The name 'oomba' sounds familiar aye? I can see you wrecking your brains. You've said hello to him before. I always make people say hello to him. Anyway, it's rather sad to see him go, but he'd be in my drawer and not hurled away. I cannot bear to throw him away. Time to grow up. So, well, getting used to the businessy phone in the baby-alien's place. Still foreign and cold, miss you oomba.

Man the weekend... was a winding road, taking me to places that I didn't want to go. Penchant to speak using song lyrics. I need to find a blue dress for the wedding. What a stew of a coming weekend, so many things jumbled together. It's gonna be so fun, but super duper tiring lol. Grab all the sleep you can get in the week peeps.

I think my sentiments are mirrored in all our minds, the instant joy of being able to just BE YOURSELF. It's so sad that such a small luxury is so rare in this world, but I'm comforted to know that I have found this refuge in the six of you (:

It's like whenever we meet, something magical happens, something shifts in the atmosphere and everything falls into place for just a few hours. Not exaggerating, I really feel damn happy whenever we meet k! This is an absolutely priceless, beautiful, overwhelmingly over flowingly inspiring, and completely heartfelt friendship. I wonder how many people are as fortunate as I am to have found such an extraordinary group of friends. I think the odds are pretty astronomical and I'm so blessed to be one of the lucky few (: I love all of you and please don't ever disappear on me k. I think I'll just drop dead if I ever lose any of you. DEAD. And you don't want me dead right? :D Sooo. Yeah... Can't wait till the next time I see all of you!

- jamie

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
23:27

Starbucks christmas tumbler, this early christmas present made my day. Met tamz at starbucks, stayed there for a sweet 20minutes before we had to leave for the wedding meeting. So hard pressed for time and energy. Seeing tammy, sam & gloria drizzled some chocolate sauce on my hectic day. Was slightly tempted to go down to town after that, with gloria to meet issie and celebrate elliot's birthday, but with all the stuff going on, i'd be mad to do so. Honestly, i'm very upset at how non-holiday-ish this holiday period is. Presentation tomorrow :(

The promises of God are of no value to us until, through obedience, we come to understand the nature of God. We may read some things in the Bible every day for a year and they may mean nothing to us. Then, because we have been obedient to God in some small detail, we suddenly see what God means and His nature is instantly opened up to us. "All the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen . . ." (2 Corinthians 1:20). Our "Yes" must be born of obedience; when by obedience we ratify a promise of God by saying, "Amen," or, "So be it." That promise becomes ours.

obedience, discipline.

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Monday, November 16, 2009
23:22

Publication design. I cannot believe we're gonna churn out a 40-page magazine within 3 weeks for FA whilst i'm drowning in one publication already. James seems nice though, got a slight keith vibe.

Had to drop by at ruby to get film so i was around the cityhall area. Stopped by at marks&spencers to grab a pack of 'belgian milk chocolate coated brazil nuts' (absolutely fond of those, you guys should try them one day!), to douse my moodiness. And behold, the entire marks&spencers had been transformed for christmas! Intended to make it out of the place in 5 minutes, ended up being mesmerized by the cookie tins for about half an hour. Someone please get me one of the cookie tins for christmas please? haha. Oh and the glorious liquor cherry chocolates... had to fly out of the place before i brought home more than the nuts.

I know it is still quite a stretch before Christmas but, oh boy! I can't wait ;) It's the season to be jolly...

____________________________________

Sunday, November 15, 2009
23:12

A very happening christmas party coming up! Still working on this flyer, finalizing the copytext. Kind of miss graphic design, oh well, my photog came in handy. More about it when it's confirmed, but keep your 19thDec free yeah!

Medical sunday appreciation lunch! Had a great time catching up with glowy over lunch. Patience my dear friend, something we're both learning. I think phileo's really beginning to feel each other and flow in spirit. Increasingly more things are unspoken but understood, swift, smooth and i guess that's why it's so much easier to concentrate these rounds. Mind off the chords and technicalities, ministered to. Love you guys man :) Dinner at Fisherman's Wharf was good, had a good talk with the little brother. Melvin & daniel are back from bintan too, no wonder it felt like there were people missing.

You know, looking at this- there are so many factors, so many ways this can play out. Yet You've told me the exact ending. And even though sometimes it baffles me how it's all gonna fall in place, I believe that Your promise holds true. When the time and season comes.

When all things that surround me

Become shadows in the light of You

____________________________________

Saturday, November 14, 2009
23:56

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOT, hope you had an awesome day, love you much!

It's good to be back in the arms of the dearest people on earth. Having funny-face-conversation across the table because we could not hear each other over the live music, updates on the other-halves, laughing under the moonlight. All our quirks and the ease of conversation, untainted and unaffected. Real. What we have is real; i think that's the actual root of envy in most others. No one acts as someone else, no one is afraid to speak out, every single one is loved unconditionally. Drawing strength to carry on, drawing peace. From them, I've learnt the actual meaning of 'phileo' in all it's glory & magnificence, all it's tears, but abundantly above all those- in its endless joy.

You know, everyone seems to be getting attached. Again, i'm really praying that these guys love you for who you are- beautiful, intelligent, loving and God-fearing. That they'd be reliable and trustworthy, with your heart, with their words, with their actions. Growing to love you, support you, protect you and listen to your wisdom. Knowing when to comfort, and when to allow themselves to be comforted; knowing when to lend a helping hand, and when to reprove. Loving you with all their hearts because it's the least you deserve. Love you all, so terribly much.

____________________________________

Friday, November 13, 2009
23:59

'Twas was a good day. Submission + presentation! Done with the first block of this sem, time flies. Still feels like we just started the semester. *Gasps at pictures* "That vibe! That is sooooo sus!! I like her vibe, she has this distinct style, free spirited..." Absolutely made me smile. "Whoa whoa! Especially pretty today suzie!" made me grin even after he stepped out of the lift. "SOOOOSSSS!!" *runs and attacks me with a bear hug* whispers into my ear- "you look very pretty today!" Yes, i'm feeling just about very loved and lovely :D Designers are such loving and expressive people.

So grateful for the monday-off cheeyong gave us. But for the weekend, i've got my work cut out for me. Magazine oh magazine, i wish you could lay yourself out. Saw the pictures brenda posted on the sunday school camp prep. I did so enjoy the painting, therapeutic. If only i didn't have school... Oh well, tomorrow's such an exciting day. I cannot wait to see the 6 most amazing people in the WORLD!

Again God has pushed me through the deadlines, unscathed and safe. Tired, with scratches and aches, but safe and sound. Next round starts tomorrow night! I should get b&j's to make these owl-times more enjoyable!

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!! YAHUI'S WEDDING IS COMING! DOT'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING! I AM BEYOND THRILLED AND IMPELLED TO SMILE FROM INSIDE OUT;) I love this season; thank you God!

____________________________________

Thursday, November 12, 2009
22:22

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

Days like this when i'm walking back in a thick daze, after a long day of shooting, night meetings, submission due the next day, heavy editing to go, and cramps; I cannot help but _____________________. God I do so wish You were tangible, I want to run to You and curl up in Your arms and hug You :( Our hope endures.

____________________________________

Tuesday, November 10, 2009
23:34

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"

Psalm 73:26

Woke up at 5am, shot 2/3 of the last set.

Meeting tammy made my day; I miss my girls terribly.

Ughhh, i cannot wait for the week to be over,

Saturday come quick, quick, quickly please?

As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God’s interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord.

I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, "Lord, this causes me such heartache." To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. Doing this creates for me my own cozy "world within the world," and God will not be allowed to move me from it because of my fear of being "frost-bitten."

- My Utmost For His Highest

Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Have we actually realized who we're dealing with?

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Monday, November 09, 2009
08:48

When it came to taking pictures of the publication committee, I absolutely dreaded the stand-in-line/sit-on-the-sofa, hands-behind-your-back kind of pictures. So with a little persuasion we moved from the picture below (which is already not bad for pictures of this type)-

To this second picture-

I WIN. Hee hee, just a glimpse of the magazine work. Hope this picture makes your monday better! Have a great week folks :)

____________________________________

Thursday, November 05, 2009
23:49

Product&Advertising, 2nd set cleared! Three pairs of killer heels; dot's killer heels haha. And she came down with me to help with the shoot and model. I like how the shots turned out (ask me to show you the polaroids!) :D That's what you get when you have an amazing bestfriend-who will skip lunch with you, squat in midair, till her legs cramped and went numb, in 6inch heels just so you can take a picture. & Cheeyong actually said "Not bad" which in cheeyong-terms- absolutely made my day. But the day was nevertheless an exhaustive one. So we went for a good dinner- Billy Bombers! Burgers + brownies&icecream was so bloated after dinner :p

Oh, bottom right picture- Guess which pot of mayo belongs to dot & sus respectively? Yes, dot refuses to touch mayo, sus finishes it all. Plus the warm brownie with hot chocolate sauce drizzled all over, icecream on top. Gee, i'm feeling kind of unhealthy, but really- "Chocolate is good for everyone!" -sus. Which reminds me of something maryanne said to me today- "Sus, I must confess something. Today I've learnt to look at chocolate in a different perspective. I used to dislike chocolates with nuts or stuff in them, I always thought it spoilt the taste. But you've open my eyes and made me more open to try new things, and some, like this, is surprisingly good!" (I shared cadbury's creme brulee chocolate with them). Haha!! I love mary

You know during the whole time we were shooting, Ariz was shooting josh/marcus with their guitars & amps beside us. So awesome music spilled over. It was such a surprise & encouragement to hear a particular worship song, made me bubbled up inside, silently :D Thank you God for really cool school + campus + friends.

Alright, now that the second shoot has been cleared, and i'm on schedule for school work; I need to work like a steam engine-magazine mock-up due this weekend. God help me, there's no way i can finish it, the articles are still in a huge mess. I don't even know where to start. Be my strength, and miracle. Reminder to self: Photoshoot for publication comm on sunday, magazine meeting on sunday, main service duty on sunday. Nowadays, i'm increasingly having my heart in my throat when sundays dawn

____________________________________

Tuesday, November 03, 2009
23:42

thanks keith!

____________________________________

There's such a long line up of fancy events before the year ends. Glitz, glamor, fussing about dresses and shoes. I'd rise to the occasions, all that fashion photography, weddings, dinners; but-

my heart's pining for the mud, mountains, most of all- the smiles of the children.

(photos from our last trip in june)

____________________________________

Monday, November 02, 2009
10:15

Fresh mondays

Fresh things happen on mondays, really. I walked into the studio to see ariz melting butter for his breakfast toast, skillfully using the hot studio lights on max voltage. He looked up and greeted me with a megawatt grin & promptly proceeded to get me to drizzle honey from midair till it cascaded down the warm pile of toasted bread he was shooting. That made me very hungry

(edit: ariz just sent me pictures! Just look at the honey! The color collaboration here doesn't do it justice. Click here to see the picture on flickr)

I learnt where the culinary school was (yes i never bothered to find out, in 1.5 years), and where their business initiatives- 'The Sugar Loaf Cafe' & 'Top Table' were located. I actually came to school to help chia with her shoot, but she needed to stop and think, as we all do quite often. So we spent the day sketching on pebbles & paper napkins (in it's purest form, you will be surprised that most creative work did not start on fancy sketchbooks). We also went down to 'Hairloom & Caramel' where carmelle worked, to buy cupcakes for the shoot.

Hairloom & Caramel (link here), ahh. It's such a quaint, quirky & artsy multi-conceptual cafe/ salon, it's eye-candy of a business for sure. Between the 5 bosses, there's an illustrator, chef, art director and hair stylist; i already guessed as much- there's that subtle difference between a place that is well designed, and a place that belongs to a creative person? (designers, do you get the vibe?) It's gem of a place for a birthday party; ideas are sprouting recklessly in this tired mind. Plus they have some pretty awesome creme brulee (& cupcakes, and salmon spaghetti, and old-fashioned cream soda float), need i say more?

So these are three of the fresh things i encountered today.

Not so fresh though, are these recurring issues-

I need a new camera + laptop bagpack. Desperately. Something that looks decent, that can hold at least two cameras, lenses, flash, laptop. Before my right shoulder flies off it's sockets from the weight of the mamiya + D200, my left arm cramps and aches whilst clutching the macbook pro for hours at end AND my brain explodes from annoyance when i want to shoot, but i can't because i've so many things on hand. It doesn't really help that all my time left to do freelance work has been used up doing free-freelance work, there's thailand i really want to go for (& thus need to save up for), and 120 film + processing + props to pay for. Hefty :( Oh well, i'm really praying God will provide in His wisdom.

"Do you know that... you are not your own?" (Cor 6:19)

The first thing God does is get us grounded on strong reality and truth. He does this until our cares for ourselves individually have been brought into submission to His way for the purpose of His redemption. Why shouldn’t we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God’s purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say, "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

-My Utmost For His Highest

(that's why reading ufhh is always like a slap in the face, tough tough call. These few days i've been feeling slightly messed up, like 'things are balancing on a thin string and all it takes is a gentle tap, to send everything sprawling apart' kind of sinking feeling)

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Friday, October 30, 2009
23:01

Classic VW Camper

This baby is a Classic VW camper. The first generation of Volkswagen buses were built from 1949 to 1967, known as 'split window buses' or 'splitties'.

"The Splittie was a wagon which started out on paper as a big box which could hold 9 people comfortably and 13 pieces of luggage. It then had 21 windows added to let light in, 4 doors to let the people out and one big hole to put the luggage in. To make it go it had an air-cooled volkswagen engine in the back, and the result was a wagon that held a lot, parked easily and didn't drink much gas."

When i learn how to drive, the only reason will be- my hope to one day drive a Classic VW CV. If i ever have the money, i will most certainly get one of these. I am very serious. Please look at the pictures below and catch the VW love :)

The 5 pictures of reconstructed Classic VW CVs were from Vanillasplits.com. WHY WHY WHY doesn't singapore have such a happening company huh? I would gladly call a few friends, plan a getaway to some beach in one of the neighboring islands.

Crap, i really want to own one of these.

These Classic VW CV speakers (below; link here) will suffice for now. Except that they're half way around the world (in america). Yeah great, sg doesn't have Urban Outfitters either! :( Nevertheless, these speakers are very much desired, and will make the best christmas present, hint hint. HAHA sheesh, i'm kidding. Just let me know if anyone's going dropping by the states any time soon! (Looks at picture below, swoons)

Edit: Do keep amy's grandma in prayer. She was found motionless at home. The family tried to wake her up to no avail. However, she is still breathing and has been sent to the hospital. Please keep the family in prayer, they are very worried. No news yet.

Update: Her grandma is awake! PTL, but i'm not exactly sure how she's doing...

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Thursday, October 29, 2009
21:58

I could really get used to macs breakfast delivery and good looking/ smelling food all around the studio. I could really get used to being a photo major :)

Yong at VSC comm session:

(Gab asked for more cameras for photo majors)

"More cameras?! Do you know that we are the most expensive school per student, to run? You see your friends in engine? They have one lecturer hall with 500 students. Lets take photo for example- How much is the camera you're using now (Gab: Two thousand? [it's actually about 60k]). We have one photo studio on Level 5, three photo studios & one dark room on Level 4, 5 facilities; bloody hell! there are only 20 of you. More cameras? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN... ever"

haha.

Finished shooting one (out of 3) sets- food. Fruity pebbles are instant joy bubbles. Fed the guys with leftover cornflakes, strawberries and chocolate; which they gladly devoured whilst lounging on cheeyong's new 'consultation' couch. When you see me, ask me to show you the lovely polaroids (test shots to check lighting etc, before we shot on 120 film) from my food shoot ok? :D

Shooting on film feels so absolute. It is such a intricate process of loading your film magazine, styling your set, directing your lights, testing your lights, settings, framing; and as your fingers sink in on the trigger, the gears click, the shutter flies open and slams shut, your heart jumps, the film whirls; it almost feels like you've just hand-drawn a picture. No mistakes, perfect exposures and you anxiously wait for the film to be processed.

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Monday, October 26, 2009
23:39

Let your will be done, but oh God, is this the only way? Sure is tough stuff

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Sunday, October 25, 2009
23:46

Medical Sunday '09

"Haha, you know uncle CH went to take pictures of your banner? He was very fascinated by it" - daddy. Medical Sunday (free health screening for the community, joined effort by the churches in pp) was a blast! The adults & many others commended this year's games :D awesome job youths! I absolutely cannot wait to develop the roll of 120 film shot yesterday, sheer anticipation. Dear little ashley was intrigued by the 3d-ish image on the leaf screen of the hasselblad, she's so endearing and subtly in her own world, just like artists are most of the time. Oh and i must mention my BATMAN BOY, please tell me he is the most adorable kid at the carnival! with his batman mask + long hair :D Blessing children is always such a, blessing

Went to my aunt's after that, melt-in-your mouth salmon & crispy duck and strawberries and blueberry cake. 2nd aunt- gina's birthday! Piano-ing and playing hide-and-seek :p Was dead tired at the end of the day. Went over to rena's when we reached home, she wanted to pass me something. HEE HEE, it was this whole set of script font stamps! So gonna try doing something soon :D Thank you renana!

Note to self: Canon war with ernest, when i'm not so tired! Bring it on ernnie :p

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Friday, October 23, 2009
23:50

my sister bought me a chocolate-coated palm-sized gingerbread man, sugary supper! Burning my weekends on the magazineeeeeee, ahh. Oh so cheesy, but i'm listening to old westlife songs whist shuffling from photoshop to illustrator :D Hey it's heaps better than all the new trashy songs nowadays. Retro music love

Reminder to self: get props/items etc for the photoshoot. If i'm gonna take product&advertising photog, i'm gonna shoot the stuff i love the most. Photo-shoot sketches below, no idea how i'm gonna shoot some of these, but by faith :p. 3 sets of pictures required- Food, fun, feel good. 3 pictures per theme. Go sus, diving into the unknown

"Our Lord never tolerates our prejudices— He is directly opposed to them and puts them to death. We tend to think that God has some special interest in our particular prejudices, and are very sure that He will never deal with us as He has to deal with others. We even say to ourselves, "God has to deal with other people in a very strict way, but of course He knows that my prejudices are all right." But we must learn that God accepts nothing of the old life! Instead of being on the side of our prejudices, He is deliberately removing them from us. It is part of our moral education to see our prejudices put to death by His providence, and to watch how He does it. God pays no respect to anything we bring to Him. There is only one thing God wants of us, and that is our unconditional surrender.

How will we have the type of love that "is kind . . . is not provoked, [and] thinks no evil"? ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ). The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God— such a trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want God Himself. Have we come to the point where God can withdraw His blessings from us without our trust in Him being affected? Once we truly see God at work, we will never be concerned again about the things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in heaven, whom the world cannot see."

- My Utmost for His Highest

striving, simple, trust

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